Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Japanese aesthetics 2 日本人の美学 2


I wrote my opinion about the Japanese aesthetic yesterday, and I could not believe the amount of responses that I received from around the world. I am stunned by the fact that our Japanese way could be so foreign to others, because to me it is very natural. So today I was thinking about it in further depth, and I'd like to share some personal episodes that show how the Japanese are in certain situations. Now, please allow me to say that I am not writing this to praise the Japanese. We are not perfect. We have many elements that the foreigners do not like: we are often described as "unambiguous" and "too reserved," and that we say "yes" to everything while we constantly shake our heads back and forth!

Too Honest?
A typical Japanese man who honors honesty and respect for others is my father. One day when I was a teenager my parents and I went to a shopping mall near Westchester, New York. My father was driving, and when he parked the car in the parking lot he lightly hit another car. He dashed out the car to check the damage and found a very tiny scratch. So, what did he do? He waited for the car's owner's return for one and a half hours!

The owner of the car was an elderly lady, and she said to my father, "Did you just wait for me to tell me that you had done this?" My dad said, "Yes." "But, why?" The lady did not get it.
"That's how we are!" my dad answered with a smile.

Another episode took place in Tokyo while I was visiting my parents there. One afternoon my father went to a market to buy some groceries to make some Italian dinner. He came home with bags, and he was checking the receipt. Then suddenly he said, "Oh my goodness. The cashier forgot to ring up the tomatoes. I must go back to pay for them."

"Common, Dad! It's just a few tomatoes, and it's not your fault. Don't even bother!" I yelled.
Did he go back? Oh, yes, he did, immediately. That is how my father is, and that is how many Japanese are. Japanese honor honesty and politeness. They take pride in their behavior and respect.

Lost Wallets are Returned Full
When I was growing up as a child in Tokyo it was absolutely common to leave your purses at the restaurant tables to save the seats, and no one would steal them. Nowadays in the big cities the Japanese don't do it any more, but in small towns and villages strangers still trust each other today.

Lost & Found is very reliable, too. At stations, department stores, police stations... most of the items you lose are returned, even the wallets full with money in them!

Karma
So what keeps the Japanese away from behaving "badly" in general? (Of course I'm not saying that there is no crime in Japan.) As I wrote yesterday, the philosophies of "Bushido" (the way of the samurai warriors) and Buddhism, and the 'wish to avoid shame' are deeply rooted in our cultural behavior, but also as for many older Japanese, the honest and polite behavior came from their wish to avoid "God's punishment." My grandmother often said to me, "If you are naughty the punishment will fall from heaven on you." I am not sure if my grandmother seriously believed it, but I think what she meant was creating your "karma."

Karma is not a punishment. Karma means "cause and effect"- what you do simply comes back in some ways. Buddha talked about cause and effect, and he taught how to control your mind. Japanese are extremely disciplined, and they can endure with a great deal of patience.

Patience is considered honorable
Patience. It is taught in early age in Japan. In my kindergarden I had a tea ceremony class every Wednesday, and we all had to sit like this (see the photo below) with good posture for an hour. It was hard for us as little children who would rather run around than sit still. I also had a "prayer class" (equivalent to a meditation class) that you sit with your eyes closed and try to be still. That was not easy either.

So, whether good or bad, these cultural elements of the Japanese have been helpful to put the tragic nation together at the moment. People are staying calm patiently. I am so proud of the Japanese people, and as a Japanese who grew up in New York, I must learn from my people in Japan. It is my time to go back to my deep roots, and learn from my ancestors who were dignified warriors. I am the "daughter" of the last samurais after all.



きのうのブログで「日本人の美学」について書いたところ、世界中から沢山のメールが殺到して驚いた私です。インドのウエブマガジンに掲載され、アメリカはニューヨークの大手ファッション誌から取材の電話も入りました。日本人の私にとって、日本人の在り方がここまで外国人に不思議がられるかにびっくりしています。ですから、今日もまた深く、日本人の美学について考えていました。そしていくつか個人的なエピソードをシェアさせていただきたいと思います。でも、ここで日本人を世界に賛美しているわけではないのです。日本人も人間だからパーフェクトじゃない。世界からは「何を考えているか分からない」とか「何を聞いてもうなづきながらイエスと答える」とか言われていますよネ。笑

正直すぎる?

正直という典型的な日本人に、私の父がいます。私がまだティーンエージャーの頃のある日、両親と一緒にNYウエストチェスターにあるショッピングモールに行った時のことです。運転していた父は、駐車場に車を止める時、近くに駐車されていた車に少しあたってしまいました。父は飛び降りて傷をチェック。ほんの小さなかすり傷ができていたんです。そこで父がとった行動は?その車の前で待つこと1時間半。傷のことを伝えるためにその車のオーナーが戻って来るのを待っていたんです。戻って来た女性は不思議そうに父に、なぜそんなことをするんだ?と尋ねました。父はニッコリと笑って「それが日本人というものです。」と答えたのでした。

もうひとつのエピソードは東京で起こりました。NYから東京に帰国した両親を訪ねていた時のある日。父がイタリア料理を作るためにスーパーに買い物に行って戻って来ました。レシートを見ていた父は、突然、「あ!レジのお兄さん、トマトを打ち忘れている。支払いしてこなくちゃ。」
「ええ〜っ!そんなトマトくらいいいよ。パパのせいじゃないし。今度払えばいい!」と私は言いましたが、父はさっさと払いに行ってしまいました。正直で礼儀正しく周りに敬意を持って行動する。そして、そうあることにプライドを持っている。父だけでなく、このような日本人が殆どなのではないかと私は思っています。

お金が入ったままのお財布
私が子供の頃は、レストランなどでテーブルの席を確保するために、自分のハンドバッグなどを椅子に置いたりしておトイレに行くのが当たり前でした。さすがに今は都心では誰もこのようなことはしないと思いますが、田舎ではまだ人々が信頼し合っていて、このような行動をする地域も沢山あるそうです。

また駅やデパート、交番などの「落とし物」部署でも、未だにお金が入ったままのお財布が届けられたり、たいていの物は、みつけた人がそのまま届けるケースが多いと聞きました。

カルマ
それでは何が日本人を一般的に悪い行いから遠ざけているのでしょう?(もちろん日本に犯罪が無いなんて言っていませんが、、、)
きのうのブログでは「武士道」や「仏教」の哲学が、我々の文化や在り方に浸透しているのではないかと書きました。そして、恥を慎む精神。あと思ったのですが、幼い頃、よく祖母から「悪いことしたら罰があたるよ」と言われたのを思い出しました。今思うには、祖母が言わんとしていたことは、カルマのことだったのではないかと思うのです。

「それはカルマだ」は「罰があたった」ということではありません。カルマとは因果関係を意味し、「原因と結果」のことです。自分がしたことが何かしらの形で戻ってくる。ブッダは因果関係について語り、己のマインドをコントロールすること(心を静めること)を教えました。日本人は非常に忍耐強く、我慢をする規律を持っているのですね。


我慢は美学とされている
我慢。忍耐。日本では子供の頃から教えられますよね。私が通った幼稚園では毎週水曜日の午後に、お茶の時間のクラスがあって、一時間くらい正座をしてお茶とお菓子をいただく作法を教えられました。じっと座っているよりウロチョロしたい子供にとっては難しいことでした。そして「お祈りの時間」。今思えば、あれは瞑想のクラスのようなものですが、目をつむり静かにしているのは容易でなかったな。


これからの日本人の美学が、悲惨な状況に陥った国をひとつにまとめているような気がします。親切な日本国民は皆、優しく労り合い、冷静に忍耐強くがんばっている。アメリカ育ちの私は、そのような日本人の素晴らしさを見習わなくてはなりません。私の深いルーツに戻る時であり、堂々たる武士であった自分の先祖たちから学ぶことをみつけることの大切さを感じています。最後のサムライの子孫ですから。

2 comments:

  1. Rima - I loved both your blogs on Japanese Aesthetics. I share the same sentiments and similar experiences as you.

    While I have lived most of my life outside of Japan, my fundamental beliefs are rooted and shaped from the Buddhist philosophies and my life growing up in Japan. I am reminded through this terrible tradegy the strength and spirit of our great mother country Japan - something that I have been far away from and had not witnessed in so long.

    I remember in 8th grade I went on a 3 day "zazen" trip from our school where we visited and stayed at a buddhist temple. We were made to sit for several hours a day just kneeling with our backs straight up, staring straight ahead and meditating. Still much of a Westerner at the time I recall not understanding a word the monk was saying and fighting the urge to complain and cry from the numbness and pain of sitting in that awkward position. We got up at the crack of dawn to exercise, ate from the land and spent the rest of the day meditating. Although such a long time ago, I have such vivid memories of those 3 days. What I remember most is the feeling that swept over me at the end of that temple experience and which I think changed me forever. A calmness I cannot explain swept over me - something I had never experienced before (as if enlightened)- and I felt so humbled and grateful. The discipline and perseverance I had to endure gave me such strength and it really did help me adjust to life in Japan after that.

    I am reminded again about the Japanese way and how much it has shaped who I am today.

    Thank you Rima for your inspiring writings and art you continue to do.

    Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō

    Rumi

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  2. Rumi, thank you for sharing your experience. I assume that you live in Japan right now, and I hope all your loved ones are safe. Let's honor our upbringing, and do our best to rebuild our home!

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